One of the most common phrases you'll hear is, “I'm sorry.” Many people use this sentence too much in order to diffuse a situation, or as a gut reaction to accidentally bumping into someone. People want you to show remorse for your actions. Should you say that you're sorry so frequently, though? After a point, these words lose their meaning. So, so why do it? If you're not sorry for something, if you do not regret what you said or did, don't say you're — and here's why.
The offended party might be disappointed, hurt, or upset. Maybe it's a nonsensical, silly situation by which they're frustrated that you didn't say the things they wanted. In the past, I've had people arrived at me for advice. I wasn't aware they wanted very specific advice, and so i gave a genuine answer. Shortly after giving this advice, seeing their reactions, I found myself saying the dreaded words, “I'm sorry.”
I've had friends say that I apologize too much. It causes individuals to feel guilty for showing their emotions whenever you say you're sorry for every little thing.
Sometimes, you say sorry due to the fact you're afraid that you'll lose their friendship or trust if you don't. You don't have to do this though. If someone throws away your friendship just because you didn't say you had been sorry, especially for something that you don't regret doing, then allow them to go.
That may seem like a calloused statement, but letting someone go when they're causing you to feel guilty about your belief is really a rational response to handling things. It may feel harsh at times, but there are times where you genuinely don't need to say that you're sorry. If you state an opinion, a belief, a well known fact, then you don't need to apologize. Waiting what you believe in isn't the same as doing something malicious that caused someone pain (in that case, you should apologize).
There's absolutely no point in saying you're sorry when you don't believe that you've wronged someone. If they are choosing to be angry over it, let them. There's that saying, “If you like someone, let them go-” Yeah, everyone knows the quote. If they're angry about something, let them be angry. Stand by your statement, uphold your action.
Stand by you.
Many people fail to realize that they need to put themselves first. It does not make you selfish, it doesn't cause you to a bad person. It simply means that you take care of yourself, and that's a necessity. Think of it like this: when you apologize for something you don't regret doing, you're shaming yourself. Do you deserve to be shamed? No, most likely not. Don't prioritize someone else's short-term comfort over your own sense of integrity.
Depending on the circumstances, there may be no apology necessary. Take care of yourself, love yourself, and uphold what you did. Standing up for yourself warrants no apologies, no self-loathing, with no anger towards yourself.
It can be challenging not to hold onto things, to not believe that you did something wrong whenever you aren't apologizing to everyone. It's a difficult habit to break, but it is a habit that needs to be broken. If you do not regret something, you shouldn't apologize for this. You should, however, if it's not causing genuine harm to another person. In some circumstances, an apology may be warranted. In many cases, all you need to do is stand up for yourself and who you are. You shouldn't have to apologize for that.
